"1, 2, 3, JUMP!"

Plunge. 

The force of the water

fills up my noes 

with a foreign and forceful thrill,

an awakening 

this rush of slightly cool 

receiving energy 

touching, caressing, taking in

every inch of my skin.

enveloped. entirely submerged. underneath. 

stay here: die 

cause you can't breathe. 

but just these 8 seconds, please. 

here, surrendered. i am not stronger. just, surrendered.

the sunset 

on high to the left 

hyperbole in gradations of color

magenta with flourescent pinks 

fluff on top of fluff

this grey on blue 

cracked by thin garlands of gold 

fantastical whoa. 

the other side 

on high to the right 

rests a single half moon, 

the polar opposite of the lush setting sun

because it's alone and striking

all by its' unclouded self. 

I see a sky that goes on forever

up above my head

while the dark invisible deep 

holds every limb below.

the awe i let loose from my lips--

it's worship. this. 

i climb out because it's gotten cool. 

she runs over

so excited she's practically tripping.

"1, 2, 3, JUMP" she says 

having seen me do it once before. 

"Wait" she calls "kiss me first!" 

Every time I do something 

that slightly or largely

terrifies me

i kiss my daughter's lips 

and hold her face in my hands

because i have to touch and feel and see and smooch 

the benefactors of my bravery

I want her to see me like this. 

I want her to see me do this. 

I want her to remember. 

How I adored nature. 

How I acted silly. 

How I did things that felt kinda scary.

How I used her tiny, precious body as my bravery barometer.

We do it again. We kiss. We count. I jump. She watches. 

When my head pops up,

a second time

mohawk all disheveled

cheeks dripping

expression 1/2 startled 1/2 seeking her response to my resurfacing, 

she looks simultaneously afraid, curious, 

dared to do the same, and in love

with how all of this happens. 

I let a burst of laughter 

from the bottom of my gut 

fill the air 

not because this is funny 

but because she's watching 

and i want her to know 

there's comedy in being brave

and foolishness in being free

sounds of power other than words

that can fill the evening air 

and make magic without a single cost. 

I want her to know 

skylines are sanctuaries 

and bodies in lakes are being baptized too 

and her Reverend mommy

needs to jump in, jump off, BE HIGH 

sometimes

so when the day comes 

when she's trying to decide 

whether or not to dive 

or live or slowly die 

she.goes.all.in.